Monday, April 8, 2024

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Delicious Unhealthy Breakfasts.

Delicious Unhealthy Breakfasts

 

Scotch Egg On-A-Stick.


Deep frying stuff seems to be the next big thing in food technology. You get all the tastiness of the original food coupled with a scrumptious batter and all the grease deep frying adds to your health conscious diet. This particular item contains a hard boiled egg on a stick nonetheless. We then wrap that egg in sausage, roller up in breadcrumbs then toss her in the deep fryer until she is nicely cooked.

Scotch Egg On-A-Stick
 

The Kannbial.


With a name like Kannibal you either don’t know how to spell or you really like eating your own meat. Hrmm, eating your own meat sounds pretty sick, but so does dying at the ripe age of 23 from cardiac arrest. To help arrange an early grave this breakfast sandwich bumps your cholesterol 30 points through the following tools:
Three meat patties, one beef sausage, one ham sausage paddy, one fried egg and sliced ham covered in minced beef. All of this is jammed in an over-sized bun. Take that Dennys!

 

The Kannbial
 

Egg n’ Ham Sammich.


When I think of the tasty part of eggs, I immediately think of runny gooey yolks. It has actually been a dream of mine for years to invent yolk butter. That is right, butter made completely out of yolk. If salmonella poisoning wasn’t so damn dangerous I’d be diving in my money bin of yolk money just like Scrooge McDuck right about now.

Anyways, this sammy is your traditional ham and cheese sammy, but to spice things up a bit, we’ll top her off with 11 sunny side up egg yolks. When I die, they better be serving these in Heaven or I’m getting my money back.
Egg n’ Ham Sammich
 

Heart Attack Sandwich.


Normally you wouldn’t find chicken in anything I would cook. Why? Because chicken is healthy and I’m still young; that means I’m invincible and I can eat what I want! There are certain instances where I will allow healthy foods in my recipes, but this is not one! The only place chicken has in this recipe, is in the type of cooking we will use. If you don’t know what chicken fried means, it simply means deep fried ala fried chicken!

The heart attack sandwich contains chicken fried steak, chicken-fried bacon, a country sausage, a fried egg, a fried green tomato topped with cheddar cheese and sandwiched between buns toasted in bacon fat, all served with a gravy dipping sauce.
 
Heart Attack Sandwich
 

Giant Breakfast Burrito.

Size does matter, don’t let anybody tell you differently. Now guys, before you put your head down and go cry yourself to sleep over your small ‘sausage’, I’m actually talking about food. The giant breakfast burrito is like the Shaquil O’Neil of breakfast burritos. It’s large and it kicks a lot of ass. This bad boy is over seven pounds of heavenly bliss. The giant breakfast burrito comes stuffed with potatoes, eggs, onions, and ham bits, lots of cheese on top and smothered in red chile.
Giant Breakfast Burrito
 

Bacon Wrapped Mozzarella Sticks.


This one is very simple, and is more of a breakfast appetizer. This one is great for when super rich, super fat aunt and uncle come over to stay for a weekend. Confirm a good placement in their will, then feed them a few dozen of these a day. Give them a few dozen extra in a doggy bag when they leave for best results.

Bacon Wrapped Mozzarella Sticks
 
 

 

Breakfast Deserts

People have different taste buds, and some people are just more into a sweeter breakfast than a sodium bomb breakfast sandwich. If you prefer something a little sweeter that will shave a few years off your life, take a gander at these little goodies.

Bacon Donut.


This bad boy is geared to all the police officers checking out ‘This Piggy’. We dedicate the bacon donut to you. Police are forced to work long hours and get put into dangerous situations all the time. Sometimes they don’t have the time to stop by Denny’s for a Big Slam Breakfast and need to get their bacon and their donut down the hatch in a hurry. This donut keeps all the deep fried goodness of a donut but also supplies your daily dose of salt and cholesterol through the addition of bacon.

Bacon Donut

 

 

Chocolate Covered Bacon.


If the Bacon Donut is a little much for you but you still need a little sugar in the am, use a bacon press to get your bacon perfectly straight. Next, turn on your fondue machine and dip half your bacon in some liquid chocolate. Seriously, this is better than sex.

 
Chocolate Covered Bacon

 

 

Bacon And Fudge Danish Breakfast Sandwich.


This guy is pretty simple, grab yourself a fudge Danish, slice her in half and pack her full of as much bacon as your mouth can handle. Add extra powdered sugar for good measure.

 
Bacon And Fudge Danish Breakfast Sandwich

 

Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich.


This Sandwich is a combination of a regular breakfast and a desert breakfast; and quite possibly the healthiest item on the entire menu.

To make the blueberry waffle breakfast sandwich, take two eggs, two sausages, ham, string cheese and bacon then plaster all these ingredients between two blueberry waffles and drench with maple syrup.
 
Blueberry Waffle Breakfast Sandwich
 

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