When you share a kiss with your man, you reveal a lot more than just passion.
Researchers have finally concluded as to why men like wet kisses. According to the study men are looking for more than just passion when kissing. US scientists have found that modern man uses smooch to look out for the level of estrogen in women and to pick up traces of estrogen in a woman`s saliva thus, to judge their fertility.
Men like wet kisses with more tongue action, as revealed by Anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers University. Other possibility could be that men are trying to transfer testosterone to the woman to stimulate her. “Men see kissing early in a relationship directly as a step to copulation.” Kissing may also serve as a way to assess the quality of a mate.
Fisher said that research has shown that the majority of men and women rate their first kiss as either `the kiss of death` or the blossoming of a new relationship.
The research involved a personality test that measured four universal temperaments by using statistics from 40,000 people on the Internet dating site
Each of the temperament was linked to activity levels of the brain chemicals dopamine/norepinephrine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen/oxytocin.
Fisher concluded that an individual’s temperament judged the kind of mate they choose, thus, enhancing the belief that love involves chemical reactions in the brain.
“People sing for love; they dance for love; they write about love; live for, kill, and die for love,” Fisher told National Geographic News.
“It’s a wonderful addiction when a relationship is working well, but perfectly horrible when it’s working poorly.”
Men should realize that getting involved with certain women has irreversible complications that can eventually cause interference with the simple joys of life. There are different types of women who should be avoided at all costs. By penning down some common ones, you can quickly identify these potentially problematic partners on your next date. Here they go…
The Needy Little Girl
This woman is every man’s worst fear. This type of woman is whiney and frequently verbalizes how desperate she is to get married. What is so frightening about this type of woman is that men can’t often identify her until they are well into a relationship.
Initially, this type of woman appears to be independent. She has been told that she is clingy or needy and often overcompensates by trying to be ultra independent.
However, once she is in a relationship and feels safe, her neediness begins to manifest.
TIP: Ironically, these women would do better to allow men to see some vulnerability right away, which is actually what most men expect, rather than give to everyone else but themselves and then expect a man to make up for their empty feelings.
The Man Hater, Witch (or other like words)
This type is different from all the others in one aspect. Most men will give this type of woman more of a chance and try and win her over, simply because she is a challenge.
Because of her strength (anger), most men don’t want to be in a committed relationship with her (and forget marriage), but they are intrigued with her perceived strength and view it as a conquest if they can get this type into bed.
This type of woman has the competitiveness of a man and the sensitivity of a woman. In an instant, she can switch from being very seductive to emotionally distant.
Put simply, she uses her hatred for men as a shield to avoid being hurt……again.
TIP: These women tend to be very guarded against getting hurt. In relationships, when they do give their heart to a man, they often allow the relationship to proceed too fast, which frequently overwhelms most men. The most important thing they need to learn is how to s-l-o-w-l-y allow a man to capture their heart.
The Career Queen
The common myth is that men are threatened by successful women. Actually, like most myths, there is an element of truth to this, which makes it so appealing. Men are not “threatened” by successful women as much as they feel that a successful woman doesn’t need them. Do not be so self-sufficient and self-fulfilled that you leave nothing for a man to do.
Granted, men don’t want a woman who is totally dependent on them, but it is flattering to a man when a confident woman allows herself to depend on them, versus when they don’t appear to need a man at all.
TIP: Most men want to be the center of a woman’s interest, whether that is fair or not, and don’t want her devotion to work placed above her devotion to him.
This is the woman who manages to find something wrong with any and everything, and is never happy with the way things are. She can’t appreciate anything because she’s so busy constantly looking for what’s wrong.
She is not necessarily a miserable person; she simply makes an art of finding what’s wrong with everything. Needless to say, men tire quickly of this type of woman and begin to avoid her at any and all costs.
TIP: Instead of just complaining work out solutions and discuss it with him along with the problem.
Everyone needs time away from their loved ones. No matter how much you love someone, they will get on your nerves if you spend every moment with them. Men simply cannot be expected to want to spend all their time with you.
And if you get upset every time he wants to hang out with his friends or do something without you, then you’re likely going to find yourself by yourself, so get a grip.
TIP: Give him some time off with his friends and colleagues. This would help him think of you when he is away from you.
The Motor Mouth
From a man’s perspective, a talkative woman isn’t good or bad. There is a perception that women use thousands more words per day than men. What most articles fail to mention is that this depends on the topic of conversation.
If the subject is sports, most men will talk a lot more than a woman will. Should the conversation change to something feminine, such as a friend’s baby, the woman will inevitably use more words.
Most women are accused of being too talkative when, in actuality, they are speaking more simply because they are discussing a subject that has great interest to them, not just because “women talk more.” In the world of men, that is considered rude because men view conversation the same as “having the floor” of a debate.
TIP: Men aren’t that different from women. Excessive talking is actually a form of conversation hogging. Don’t dominate the conversation unless you know it’s a topic that interests him.
What is on his mind? What does he thinking about me? Questions many women keep wondering about. Many women find themselves in a situation where they believe that a guy is interested, but they aren’t sure. They compare the way he acts to how they would act if they were interested and make judgments based on those comparisons.
It won’t work. Guys display their attraction differently than women do. Experts predict that only 7% of attraction is shown through verbal communication, 38% is displayed through tone and a whopping 55% is shown through body language. This means that women who recognize the meaning behind male body language have a big advantage
There are certain behaviors common to most men who are trying to win a woman’s affection. Most common of them are listed below:
He Makes Good Eye Contact
Since guys are visual, it goes without saying that they stare at women whom they find attractive. This is significant because, as a general rule of thumb, men tend to avoid prolonged eye contact because of its threatening nature (think Alpha Male stuff).
In addition, every man can tell you a story of some woman he was nice to, who misinterpreted his kindness as an indication of romantic interest. If you ask 100 men why they are so guarded about giving a woman the wrong impression, the answer is simple, “Because she might not leave.”
How to respond: When you notice his gaze, simply smile back while maintaining eye contact for a couple of seconds, and then quickly look away. This simple gesture is all the invitation he’ll need to approach you.
He’ll Listen to You
Need I mention that men hate being bored? Women don’t prefer it either, but men detest it. Nothing is more boring to most men than being trapped in a conversation with someone who doesn’t interest them.
If you were to ask how you can tell if you are the woman who is holding him hostage, relax. Most men won’t listen long enough for that to happen to you. If he’s listening to you talk about your work, friends or other interests for more than five minutes, he’s interested in you.
How to Respond
Remember that the person doing the talking is NOT in control. The listener is in control. You want the conversation centered on him so that you can begin training him to be emotionally dependent on you.
Men always find women who listen to them to be irresistible. When you are listening, be sure to make eye contact with him occasionally and never forget that men find a woman’s smile to be hypnotic. Most women can easily do two things at once, so resist the urge to listen and look elsewhere.
Without some eye contact and a smile, you may hear what he’s saying, but you won’t look like you care.
He Frequents Your Friends
Most men know that if you simply approach a woman and give her a “yes” or “no” question, you only have a 50/50 chance of her saying yes, or worse. Therefore, the clever guys are those who slowly infiltrate your inner circle of friends because they know if your friends like them, they have a better chance with you.
Don’t be threatened if you see a guy strike up a conversation with one of your girlfriends. Yes, he may be interested in her and not you, but there is a good chance that you are actually the primary target.
As a guy gets to know your friends, it becomes easier for him to approach both you and them in the future.
How to Respond
If you notice him talking to one of your gal pals, don’t approach them too quickly. In fact, don’t approach them at all. Act as though you didn’t notice them speaking and maintain your distance.
The next time you are with that friend, stay close to her and he’ll be able to approach you, through her.
More visible signals from him: These common body signs are directed toward a woman a guy finds attractive.
• Massaging his outer thigh
• Narrowing his eyes while he is talking to her
• Hooking his thumb in his belt loops
• Adjusting his cuffs, flicking dust from his jacket or smoothing his hair
• Stroking the jaw
• Rolling a glass or pen between his palms
So the next time you are dealing with a man be carefull!
One of the difficulties faced in intimate relationships is that opposites attract. We are often fascinated by personal traits or background characteristics in our potential partner that we, ourselves, do not possess. It is not unusual, for example, for an only child to marry someone from a large family because she is attracted to the excitement and seeming closeness of her partner’s large family.
At the same time, he is attracted to her quiet and apparently peaceful family. It may not be long before she is accusing his family of being overwhelming and he is describing her family as too withdrawn. This is the point at which it is important to stop and recall what brought the partners together. With understanding, self-awareness, and a good measure of humor, each is more able to see the advantages and disadvantages of their own as well as their partner’s traits and circumstances.
Women and men also need to be equals in their relationship. A good marriage is not built upon the foundation of one partner feeling like a child and the other feeling like a parent. Only when partners relate as peers is it possible to experience mutual respect, sharing, support for each other, and the ability to disagree without the threat of losing the relationship. With that type of underpinning, the marriage will thrive.
Marriage is, no doubt, hard work, perhaps the most difficult thing some of us will ever do. When the honeymoon phase of our relationship is over, we experience that our partner no longer makes us happy. The romantic ideal we’ve held our partner to crumbles into a real relationship between real people with hopes and fears, wisdom and neuroses, needs and expectations. At this point we have three choices: we can break up; we can live together with resentment and little intimacy; or we can use the relationship as a means of growth and transformation. When we choose growth, we have the opportunity to transform the “garbage” of our relationship into compost. We can learn from the difficulties, keeping ourselves open to possibilities and pain, our partner, and ourselves.
Our intimate relationships are like plants. They need sunshine and rain and good soil. They need work. When pain and difficulties arise we can touch into our commitment and willingly feel our emotional weather. We can remain open to the winds and rains, as well as the sunshine and sweet breezes of the relationship. It takes tremendous courage to stop and simply feel the pain that arises, to let it wash over us like a wave. When we do this, it is not as bad as we anticipated. And like all weather, it passes.
Cultivating this larger awareness of the emotional storm allows us to notice the transient nature of conflict. Through this process we can learn to own and heal our pain, and glean some wisdom from it. It is a courageous and generous endeavor to not blame our partner for our unhappiness or not fulfilling our ideal.
Being present and honest with ourselves will provide space for understanding and growth. There is tremendous reward for stretching ourselves to open, taking responsibility for our side of the story, and transforming our negative habits into acts of integrity. The reward is that our plant begins to flower. Love returns and blossoms. Joy and lightness dawn with a newfound workability.
Boundaries around the individual and the couple sustain the health of a relationship. This means having individual time and couple time. In successful partnerships, boundaries are created to determine when, where, and to what extent other people are a part the life of the individual and of the couple. Boundaries (with negotiated flexibility) are important for establishing and maintaining intimacy in a relationship.
Finally, intimacy is the foundation for the development of lasting bonds in a relationship. While sexual and physical connections are important, they are not the only kind of intimacy in a relationship. Emotional, spiritual, aesthetic, and recreational aspects of life are also areas in which intimacy grows. Without these, sexual intimacy is purely physical and unlikely to sustain a relationship over the long-term.
The following suggestions may help couples to think about the challenges they face within their own relationships and inspire new approaches to old problems thus nurturing your relationship:
See the reality of your partner (and of yourself), not a fantasy of perfection.
Treat your partner like a friend. Be considerate and respectful. Laugh at their jokes and listen to their stories. Lighten up together and be kind to one another.
Stay in the present. Deal with what is happening now; you don’t have to dredge up old baggage.
The giving and receiving of unconditional love is not to be taken for granted. Certain aspects of love are earned.
Give what you want. If you want more love, offer love. If you want more affection, offer affection. If you want more intimacy, create an intimate environment.
Not every attack is personal. Avoid overdramatizing.
Be more concerned with loving and being loved, caring and being cared about than being right. Many right people are very lonely!
Sit down with your spouse and each make a list of what makes you feel loved and cared for. Exchange lists. Study your partner’s list and make a commitment to do some of those things.
See the situation from the other person’s perspective. Forgo blaming or judging.
Say as much as you can to each other. The more that remains unspoken, the greater the risk for problems.
Nurture a sense of humor. It is difficult for us to be defensive when we can laugh at ourselves!
Acknowledge your partner for something every day. This could be something little or significant about what they do, who they are or how they look.
Spend quality time together. If you have small children and not much alone time, extend yourself and make that time precious.
Study what “works” between you and do more of that. Do not keep repeating the same negative patterns.
Apologize. In every conflict you play a part. Be responsible for it.
Honor your partner’s freedom. Wish them well as they do things separate from you. Celebrate your differences. Chances are, you do not want to be in a relationship with someone exactly like you!
Do not react. When your partner gives you negative feedback, reply that you will think about it – and do.
See a counselor when you run into difficulties or want more from your relationship. All relationships run into hard times. Counseling is a wonderful way to give your relationship time and nurturing. Even one or two sessions can be a great benefit. Also know that shifts in the relationship can occur with only one person in counseling.