English is a crazy language


Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.

English is a crazy language
English is a crazy language
  • In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
  • Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
  • Why is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
  • Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?
  • In what other language do thay call the third hand on the clock the second hand?
  • Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?
  • Why – in our crazy language – can your nose run and your feet smell?
  • Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:
  • If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?
  • If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?
  • A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.
  • But fingers don’t fing and grocers don’t groce.
  • If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?
  • If the teacher taught, why isn’t it also true that the preacher praught?
  • If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?
  • English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can’t turn a light in;
  • In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.
  • In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down,in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.
  • English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible?; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?



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