Friday, April 3, 2020

The 5 toughest questions for men

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The 5 toughest questions for men are:

The 5 toughest questions for men
The 5 toughest questions for men

1. What are you thinking about?

2. Do you love me?

3. Do I look fat?

4. Do you think she is prettier than me?

5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each
one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if
the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth).
Therefore, as a public service, each question is
analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry
if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on
what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent
woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the
true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered
by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to know
what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”)

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a
more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Oh Yeah, loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I’ve seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking
about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is always: “Of course not!”

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d. Define pretty..
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about
how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question# 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question.

(The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Corvette!”)

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