Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Wal-Mart has everything!

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 Wal-Mart has everything!
Wal-Mart has everything!

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, ‘My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.’

‘Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,’ Mike replies.

‘There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.’

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

 'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
  Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.

He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

  1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
  2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
  3.  Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
  4.  Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
  5.  If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
 Thank you for shopping @  Wal-Mart.
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