Friday, August 14, 2020

Wal-Mart has everything!

Must Read

The Celebrities Who Are Cleaning Their Own Homes In Lockdown

During the current coronavirus crisis, sales of cleaning products have doubled as we become more stringent about cleaning. It’s not just the everyday public who have been scrubbing their homes though - lockdown has meant that celebrities all over the world have been doing their own cleaning. Nicole Sherzinger posted pictures of herself mopping the floor, Victoria Beckham has become obsessed with the dishwasher, and even Joan Collins appeared in Hello! polishing the windows. This may not have been out of choice, but we do appreciate seeing them on social media, sharing their cleaning struggles.

Green Your Ride: Should You Buy An Electric Vehicle?

Photo by Andrew Roberts on Unsplash By Lucy Yardley If...

Celebrities Utilizing Psychics In All Aspects Of Their Lives

22% of Americans have consulted a psychic or medium, according to You Gov. While they might not be overly popular with the general public, there’s one group of individuals that turn to psychics in their droves: celebrities. George Clooney, Khloe Kardashian, Brad Pitt and Jenny McCarthy are just a few famous faces who have confessed to seeing a psychic. But just how do celebrities benefit from psychics in a way that others don’t?

 Wal-Mart has everything!
Wal-Mart has everything!

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, ‘My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.’

‘Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,’ Mike replies.

‘There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.’

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

 'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
  Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.

He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

  1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
  2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
  3.  Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
  4.  Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
  5.  If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
 Thank you for shopping @  Wal-Mart.
- Advertisement -

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

- Advertisement -

Latest News

The Celebrities Who Are Cleaning Their Own Homes In Lockdown

During the current coronavirus crisis, sales of cleaning products have doubled as we become more stringent about cleaning. It’s not just the everyday public who have been scrubbing their homes though - lockdown has meant that celebrities all over the world have been doing their own cleaning. Nicole Sherzinger posted pictures of herself mopping the floor, Victoria Beckham has become obsessed with the dishwasher, and even Joan Collins appeared in Hello! polishing the windows. This may not have been out of choice, but we do appreciate seeing them on social media, sharing their cleaning struggles.

Green Your Ride: Should You Buy An Electric Vehicle?

Photo by Andrew Roberts on Unsplash By Lucy Yardley If you worry about the effect of...

Celebrities Utilizing Psychics In All Aspects Of Their Lives

22% of Americans have consulted a psychic or medium, according to You Gov. While they might not be overly popular with the general public, there’s one group of individuals that turn to psychics in their droves: celebrities. George Clooney, Khloe Kardashian, Brad Pitt and Jenny McCarthy are just a few famous faces who have confessed to seeing a psychic. But just how do celebrities benefit from psychics in a way that others don’t?

Meditation vs Panic Attacks: Guess Which One Wins?

Photo by Mitchell Griest on Unsplash By Lucy Yardley Anxiety and depression are officially...

A train journey and two names to remember

A train journey and two names to remember By Leena Sarma Of two co-travellers...
- Advertisement -

More Articles Like This

- Advertisement -