Tuesday, September 22, 2020

How things work in the Gulf…

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DUBAI SYSTEM:

You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention.

 

QATAR SYSTEM:

You have two cows. They’ve been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

 

BAHRAIN SYSTEM:

You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to milk the cow at the same time to cut back on unemployment.

 

KUWAIT SYSTEM:

They do not have cows. Milk is imported since no locals can or would milk a cow.

 

SAUDI SYSTEM:

Since milking the cow involves nipples the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other.

 

OMAN SYSTEM:

You have two cows. After a huge public speech in which you declare cow milking as a landmark initiative and appointing a new government body in charge of cow milking. You first spend a year doing nothing, then you spend 1 year on planning to milk them properly and safely, another one year to get the proper ministry approvals to milk them. By the time you actually get around to milking the cows, the cows are dead.

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