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English is a crazy language

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Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.

English is a crazy language
English is a crazy language
  • In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
  • Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
  • Why is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
  • Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?
  • In what other language do thay call the third hand on the clock the second hand?
  • Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?
  • Why – in our crazy language – can your nose run and your feet smell?
  • Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:
  • If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?
  • If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?
  • A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.
  • But fingers don’t fing and grocers don’t groce.
  • If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?
  • If the teacher taught, why isn’t it also true that the preacher praught?
  • If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?
  • English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can’t turn a light in;
  • In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.
  • In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down,in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.
  • English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible?; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?

The 5 toughest questions for men

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The 5 toughest questions for men are:

The 5 toughest questions for men
The 5 toughest questions for men

1. What are you thinking about?

2. Do you love me?

3. Do I look fat?

4. Do you think she is prettier than me?

5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each
one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if
the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth).
Therefore, as a public service, each question is
analyzed below, along with possible responses.
Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry
if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on
what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent
woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the
true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered
by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to know
what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”)
Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a
more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”
Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh Yeah, loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”
Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I’ve seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking
about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is always: “Of course not!”
Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d. Define pretty..
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about
how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question# 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question.
(The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Corvette!”)

Positive Reflections – Resisting False Attractions In Actions

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Resisting False Attractions In Actions

All that glitters (shines) is not gold. Life presents you with many illusionary scenes, scenes in which what may be visible may not be the truth. These scenes cause desires to be born inside you to achieve something unnecessary for your prosperity or other types of fulfillments. These can be illusions that make you believe that you will gain something from a situation or person, without the same being true. Thus, you waste time going down a path that not only leads you to disappointment; but you also waste the resource of your thoughts and energy and as a result you tire yourself out emotionally and mentally.
If the intellect is polluted, you make incorrect judgments and are easily deceived by situations or people. Thus, you will make incorrect choices, dishonest or illogical decisions. You will justify dishonesty and improper actions and you will be incapable of differentiating between the real and the imaginary. A person with a pure, clear, clean and powerful intellect will act with honesty and sincerity. When your intellect is polluted, you may act against your own conscience or against your better judgment; you also may be insensitive. A person with a doubtful intellect will always justify a dishonest act. Meditation is the process of purifying and cleaning the intellect, because in meditation we connect with the purest intellect, the intellect of the Supreme Soul or God. Meditation is also a process of inner awakening and strengthening of your conscience. Being awake means to realize, and being strong means to act according to what you have realized.

Positive Reflections — Manipulating The Law Of Action

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Manipulating The Law Of Action

Human laws can be adjusted, manipulated and even ignored by some, but no one can do the same with the Law of Action or Karma. On the physical level, there is no time interval between an action and its reaction. If I throw an object in the air, it falls back immediately with the same force. With the Law of Karma, however, there can be a delay between the action and its result or fruit. The seeds of certain actions (negative or positive) bring immediate fruit. Others can take years or even many births to bear fruit. If I eat too much ice-cream, I will see the result or karmic effect of the negative karma of greed within a space of ten-fifteen minutes in the form of a headache or after two days in the form of a cold and flu. This is an e.g. in which we realize the working of the Law of Karma, we realize clearly the cause and its effect, but on a subtle level, when we see the effects of actions, we do not realize that the cause may have actually been in a previous life. There is a total connection between the cause and the effect.
When we analyze a natural calamity such as a major earthquake that uproots buildings and trees, overturns vehicles and kills thousands of people. The physical cause may be tectonic activity associated with faults inside the earth’s surface but at the same time, we realize that such a calamity could have its roots in a process initiated by human beings a few hours, days or months ago – an e.g. being testing of nuclear weapons. On a personal level, I can say that there is nothing which happens to me for which I am not responsible. Whether I remember what I did to make it happen or not, whether I realize it or choose to ignore it, I am ultimately responsible.

Positive Reflections – Letting Go Of The Strings (Meditation)

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Letting Go Of The Strings (Meditation)

I sit down comfortably and I begin to relax my body taking advantage of the relaxed rhythm of my breathing… I feel my calmed breathing…
I listen to the sounds of the space and objects that surround me… In this moment I decide to separate (detach) my attention from them… The world follows its rhythm, its movement, but I do not need to involve myself in it…
I let go of the strings that pull my mind, the strings that pull my intellect… I let go of the strings of my responsibilities… I let go of the strings of my relationships… I let go of the strings of the different roles that I play throughout the day… This moment is only for me, to be in my own company…
I concentrate all my attention, all my energy, gently, without forcing, on a point at the center of my forehead… The energy concentrates itself. I have let go of the strings that tie me down… From that place I can experience true freedom…
I free myself of any limited awareness of myself… I free myself of any label of myself… I go beyond my limited roles, beyond this physical world…
I am a spiritual being; I am a point of light, a spark of spiritual energy; aware, calm and loving… I feel the true freedom of experiencing my authentic identity and genuine… I don’t have to prove anything; simply be what I am in a natural way… A peaceful and living being…
From this state of being I prepare myself to enter into action. I listen again to the sounds of my surroundings, aware that I choose at each moment what it is that is going to influence me and how I am going to respond…

Positive Reflections – The Limitless Mind

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The Limitless Mind

If we compare the two entities – mind and matter – the most obvious difference between the two that comes to the forefront is that one is non-physical and the other is physical. Another very important difference between the two is that whereas on one hand, matter has limits, in the sense, that’s its fixed in time and space. The mind, on the other hand, is beyond limits, in terms of physical parameters. It’s not fixed in time and space.
When we take a close look at what is going on in our mind, its power becomes visible to us. Since its not fixed in space, it can link me to a friend in, as far as, Washington or Singapore in less than a second. My mind can even move in many different directions at once. Since the mind is not fixed in time, I can think about yesterday, or about fifteen years ago; about tonight, or the next three years. That’s the reason we can say that the mind is limitless, hence powerful.
Thoughts also have different levels of power. Sometimes they fly past the mind leaving hardly any impact on us. At other times, they are accompanied by such feelings so as to influence our entire perception, even our complete inner mental state. Thinking about a visit to Kashmir I made last year, for e.g., I could find myself carried back mentally into the beautiful experience and its attached emotions. Filled with happiness, I will even radiate this happiness to others nearby, through my thoughts, facial expressions, words and actions. On the other hand, thoughts about the death of my close relative a few years ago will have an opposite impact on me in the present moment.

Positive Reflections – The Power To Transform Emotions

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The Power To Transform Emotions

As with feelings, when emotions are aroused, there are physical changes inside the body in the form of chemical and electrical activity. In fact, strong emotions don’t just affect the body; they also have an impact on the soul. When the soul suffers emotional trauma, from which there is lasting impact, the emotional trauma brings about an immense strain on the brain and body. Brain chemical production is likely to be affected, and there may also be feelings of depression and tiredness. But the real trauma at the root of these physical effects is at a deeper level within the soul itself, and the resulting emotional sensitivity will also arise from the soul.
e.g. I suffer a series of losses or setbacks in my business that causes a lack of confidence and self-respect inside me. A sanskara of low self-esteem is created inside. As a result I become emotionally unstable and sensitive. I’ll show a tendency to react emotionally with extreme sorrow (may be in the form of depression) or extreme anger (sometimes in the form of an outburst) whenever there is a similar setback that touches this sensitivity. A person who has not suffered similarly in the past and does not have a sanskara of low self esteem, and as a result does not have this tendency, will not react in a similar fashion under similar circumstances.
Thoughts may be temporary. Feelings (either positive or negative), accompanying repeated thought-patterns, stay a bit longer inside us. But when a soul suffers a major setback, loss or failure in life that it is not able to deal with, it becomes emotionally damaged and the results of that can be extreme.
Suppose I lose a loved one all of a sudden. If the feelings that come to me because of this loss can be taken care of at that time, through any means like the remembrance of God, meditation, developing a positive hobby to divert my mind, spending more time in the positive company of other family members, etc.; I will deal with the feelings and move on. If however, I am unable to deal with my feelings through any of the means mentioned, the experience of loss I feel is going to cause a lot of deep damage on the emotional level. Then it will not just be a feeling of loss, but it will actually have wounded the soul emotionally. Until that wound has healed, I’ll carry it with me long after the loss has suffered. The emotions linked to it will come to the surface repeatedly, though I may have no idea where my sorrow is coming from. Due to the emotional wound, I’ll be unable to stay happy, no matter how positive my circumstances may be today.
Meditation does not require me to go into the subconscious roots of my pain. Instead, through thought, meditation enables me to take conscious control of my feelings and emotions, so as to displace the negative, which brings sorrow; with positive, which brings happiness. It helps me experience pure, powerful emotions and loveful feelings to such an extent that the wounds left by past experiences are healed. Raja Yoga means royal union – it means having a loveful relationship with God. The experience of God’s love is a soothing balm for my emotions, and a remedy for the emotional pain the soul feels.

Positive Reflections – Stepping Inside

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Stepping Inside

One aspect of meditation is that it teaches us to face life from the inside.
It takes us to that point of stillness where we find the strength to change and heal the inner self. In that silence, we are able to find perspective and insight. In a deep state of introspection, we clearly observe our thoughts, seeing our true motives and intentions behind our words and actions; when we understand that our intentions are perhaps not quite right, then we are in a position to say to ourselves, ‘Hold on a minute!’ When we use silence to check our thoughts at that level, then we begin to realize that many of the things we are thinking about are not really worth thinking about. At this point, we become spiritually economical, which in fact leads us to becoming very generous. A lot of precious energy is lost, both mentally and emotionally, on wasteful and negative thinking. Ninety-five percent of our time is wasted on thinking about others; we go on and on with a string of expectations from others, which becomes like a hammer of demand on other people’s heads. Take a combination of expectations and demand, and what does it equal? Conflict!
When we learn to become silent and to reflect on our inner self, we start feeling satisfied with what we find inside, expectations from others gradually come down and there is a deep sense of contentment.
When we learn to become silent we become more compassionate (generous) in our outlook and start accepting others for who they are.
The more we are able to accept, the sooner we find that there is harmony (peacefulness) in our relationships. We start saving energy, sparing or reducing our thoughts and our words. This is accompanied by more patience, tolerance, flexibility, easiness and lightness. Silence teaches us the art of living. Silence can be misused to isolate oneself and go into loneliness, but true, positive silence gives us a balance between our inner and outer worlds. Having explored our inner self we collect our positive energy, become aware of our qualities, and then very naturally these are expressed externally. We move our concentration to the inner self and then to the external world. Then we go inwards again. It is a circular movement. As we go into silence, we recharge our inner energies, become one with the self, heal our self, relax and release our self from negativity. There are so many benefits by simply stepping inside to meet our true self. As we draw out our internal riches and resources, what do we do with them? We share them and give them out and in doing this we receive and we learn.

Positive Reflections – The Lamp Of Hope

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The Lamp Of Hope

You create the future basing yourself on what you think, feel and do in the present. If you act according to your values, it is easy for you to trust in your destiny. That strengthens your hope that all will go well, and, if it doesn’t, you know and trust your inner resources or treasures to be able to deal with things and change. That trust feeds the enthusiasm, the motor energy that, along with motivation and passion, helps us to advance.
When you lose courage and you feel weak, when you feel insecure and do not see with clarity where to go towards, hope lights the way for you to carry on going forward. If you fall, get up again and carry on looking ahead. Don’t look back. Don’t let your past be a burden that is too heavy and prevents you from advancing. Focus your vision on your objective and on all your potential to achieve it.
Whatever happens, keep the lamp of hope lit. You can. You will achieve it. Change will become reality. You will free yourself from the shadows of fears, blockages and the other limitations that weaken you.
Live each situation as an opportunity. Learn from criticism and failures. On living life as a constant opportunity for personal growth and learning, you keep hope always alive.
Give yourself moments of silence on beginning each day, during the day and on finishing the day, to connect with your inner self. That way your awareness stays awake, the lamp of your hope, your motivation and your values remains lit.

Positive Reflections – Overcoming Frustration In Relationships

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Overcoming Frustration In Relationships

There are two things in life that we can never change:
* the past and
* other people
This often brings us one frustration after the other, especially when we do not get the results that we want. Frustration is also a sign of failure, and every time that you fail in getting what you want from the other, your self-esteem and self-confidence are reduced.
Frustration is a form of anger. You allow the negative emotion to control you, and therefore you lose control. Most times situations will not be as you want them to be and neither will people behave as you want them to. Therefore, you can decide now if you want to continue allowing the other to dictate your reactions according to how they behave, which results in the loss of your rule, control and personal power, or you can decide that no matter how the other behaves, you rule over your responses; you decide what you want to think and feel.
When another tries to control you and then gets frustrated because you don’t do what he or she wants or you aren’t who he or she expects you to be, they get in a bad mood with you; they look at you with anger and what do you do? You then place an invisible barrier between you and him or her. In such a way that they cannot ‘enter’ into your world and you do not leave yours either, they lose their influence over you. In the same way, when you try to control people you lose your influence over them and distance is generated.