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Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC
No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor
He is designed to remain Silent indoor…
“Husband is one who is the head of the family,
but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes.”
A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means – With Idiot For Ever
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one every day.
Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.
Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push…!
Why Male Elk Have Long Antlers
‘It’s a guy thing, regardless of species.’
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, ‘My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.’
‘Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,’ Mike replies.
‘There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.’
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
I was feeling a little nosey, so I thought I would look in on you and see if you’re sitting at your computer and if you’re OK.
Yup, there you are and you look great!