When you share a kiss with your man, you reveal a lot more than just passion.
Researchers have finally concluded as to why men like wet kisses. According to the study men are looking for more than just passion when kissing. US scientists have found that modern man uses smooch to look out for the level of estrogen in women and to pick up traces of estrogen in a woman`s saliva thus, to judge their fertility.
Men like wet kisses with more tongue action, as revealed by Anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers University. Other possibility could be that men are trying to transfer testosterone to the woman to stimulate her. “Men see kissing early in a relationship directly as a step to copulation.” Kissing may also serve as a way to assess the quality of a mate.
Fisher said that research has shown that the majority of men and women rate their first kiss as either `the kiss of death` or the blossoming of a new relationship.
The research involved a personality test that measured four universal temperaments by using statistics from 40,000 people on the Internet dating site
Each of the temperament was linked to activity levels of the brain chemicals dopamine/norepinephrine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen/oxytocin.
Fisher concluded that an individual’s temperament judged the kind of mate they choose, thus, enhancing the belief that love involves chemical reactions in the brain.
“People sing for love; they dance for love; they write about love; live for, kill, and die for love,” Fisher told National Geographic News.
“It’s a wonderful addiction when a relationship is working well, but perfectly horrible when it’s working poorly.”
Men should realize that getting involved with certain women has irreversible complications that can eventually cause interference with the simple joys of life. There are different types of women who should be avoided at all costs. By penning down some common ones, you can quickly identify these potentially problematic partners on your next date. Here they go…
The Needy Little Girl
This woman is every man’s worst fear. This type of woman is whiney and frequently verbalizes how desperate she is to get married. What is so frightening about this type of woman is that men can’t often identify her until they are well into a relationship.
Initially, this type of woman appears to be independent. She has been told that she is clingy or needy and often overcompensates by trying to be ultra independent.
However, once she is in a relationship and feels safe, her neediness begins to manifest.
TIP: Ironically, these women would do better to allow men to see some vulnerability right away, which is actually what most men expect, rather than give to everyone else but themselves and then expect a man to make up for their empty feelings.
The Man Hater, Witch (or other like words)
This type is different from all the others in one aspect. Most men will give this type of woman more of a chance and try and win her over, simply because she is a challenge.
Because of her strength (anger), most men don’t want to be in a committed relationship with her (and forget marriage), but they are intrigued with her perceived strength and view it as a conquest if they can get this type into bed.
This type of woman has the competitiveness of a man and the sensitivity of a woman. In an instant, she can switch from being very seductive to emotionally distant.
Put simply, she uses her hatred for men as a shield to avoid being hurt……again.
TIP: These women tend to be very guarded against getting hurt. In relationships, when they do give their heart to a man, they often allow the relationship to proceed too fast, which frequently overwhelms most men. The most important thing they need to learn is how to s-l-o-w-l-y allow a man to capture their heart.
The Career Queen
The common myth is that men are threatened by successful women. Actually, like most myths, there is an element of truth to this, which makes it so appealing. Men are not “threatened” by successful women as much as they feel that a successful woman doesn’t need them. Do not be so self-sufficient and self-fulfilled that you leave nothing for a man to do.
Granted, men don’t want a woman who is totally dependent on them, but it is flattering to a man when a confident woman allows herself to depend on them, versus when they don’t appear to need a man at all.
TIP: Most men want to be the center of a woman’s interest, whether that is fair or not, and don’t want her devotion to work placed above her devotion to him.
This is the woman who manages to find something wrong with any and everything, and is never happy with the way things are. She can’t appreciate anything because she’s so busy constantly looking for what’s wrong.
She is not necessarily a miserable person; she simply makes an art of finding what’s wrong with everything. Needless to say, men tire quickly of this type of woman and begin to avoid her at any and all costs.
TIP: Instead of just complaining work out solutions and discuss it with him along with the problem.
Everyone needs time away from their loved ones. No matter how much you love someone, they will get on your nerves if you spend every moment with them. Men simply cannot be expected to want to spend all their time with you.
And if you get upset every time he wants to hang out with his friends or do something without you, then you’re likely going to find yourself by yourself, so get a grip.
TIP: Give him some time off with his friends and colleagues. This would help him think of you when he is away from you.
The Motor Mouth
From a man’s perspective, a talkative woman isn’t good or bad. There is a perception that women use thousands more words per day than men. What most articles fail to mention is that this depends on the topic of conversation.
If the subject is sports, most men will talk a lot more than a woman will. Should the conversation change to something feminine, such as a friend’s baby, the woman will inevitably use more words.
Most women are accused of being too talkative when, in actuality, they are speaking more simply because they are discussing a subject that has great interest to them, not just because “women talk more.” In the world of men, that is considered rude because men view conversation the same as “having the floor” of a debate.
TIP: Men aren’t that different from women. Excessive talking is actually a form of conversation hogging. Don’t dominate the conversation unless you know it’s a topic that interests him.
All that glitters (shines) is not gold. Life presents you with many illusionary scenes, scenes in which what may be visible may not be the truth. These scenes cause desires to be born inside you to achieve something unnecessary for your prosperity or other types of fulfillments. These can be illusions that make you believe that you will gain something from a situation or person, without the same being true. Thus, you waste time going down a path that not only leads you to disappointment; but you also waste the resource of your thoughts and energy and as a result you tire yourself out emotionally and mentally.
If the intellect is polluted, you make incorrect judgments and are easily deceived by situations or people. Thus, you will make incorrect choices, dishonest or illogical decisions. You will justify dishonesty and improper actions and you will be incapable of differentiating between the real and the imaginary. A person with a pure, clear, clean and powerful intellect will act with honesty and sincerity. When your intellect is polluted, you may act against your own conscience or against your better judgment; you also may be insensitive. A person with a doubtful intellect will always justify a dishonest act. Meditation is the process of purifying and cleaning the intellect, because in meditation we connect with the purest intellect, the intellect of the Supreme Soul or God. Meditation is also a process of inner awakening and strengthening of your conscience. Being awake means to realize, and being strong means to act according to what you have realized.
Human laws can be adjusted, manipulated and even ignored by some, but no one can do the same with the Law of Action or Karma. On the physical level, there is no time interval between an action and its reaction. If I throw an object in the air, it falls back immediately with the same force. With the Law of Karma, however, there can be a delay between the action and its result or fruit. The seeds of certain actions (negative or positive) bring immediate fruit. Others can take years or even many births to bear fruit. If I eat too much ice-cream, I will see the result or karmic effect of the negative karma of greed within a space of ten-fifteen minutes in the form of a headache or after two days in the form of a cold and flu. This is an e.g. in which we realize the working of the Law of Karma, we realize clearly the cause and its effect, but on a subtle level, when we see the effects of actions, we do not realize that the cause may have actually been in a previous life. There is a total connection between the cause and the effect.
When we analyze a natural calamity such as a major earthquake that uproots buildings and trees, overturns vehicles and kills thousands of people. The physical cause may be tectonic activity associated with faults inside the earth’s surface but at the same time, we realize that such a calamity could have its roots in a process initiated by human beings a few hours, days or months ago – an e.g. being testing of nuclear weapons. On a personal level, I can say that there is nothing which happens to me for which I am not responsible. Whether I remember what I did to make it happen or not, whether I realize it or choose to ignore it, I am ultimately responsible.
I sit down comfortably and I begin to relax my body taking advantage of the relaxed rhythm of my breathing… I feel my calmed breathing…
I listen to the sounds of the space and objects that surround me… In this moment I decide to separate (detach) my attention from them… The world follows its rhythm, its movement, but I do not need to involve myself in it…
I let go of the strings that pull my mind, the strings that pull my intellect… I let go of the strings of my responsibilities… I let go of the strings of my relationships… I let go of the strings of the different roles that I play throughout the day… This moment is only for me, to be in my own company…
I concentrate all my attention, all my energy, gently, without forcing, on a point at the center of my forehead… The energy concentrates itself. I have let go of the strings that tie me down… From that place I can experience true freedom…
I free myself of any limited awareness of myself… I free myself of any label of myself… I go beyond my limited roles, beyond this physical world…
I am a spiritual being; I am a point of light, a spark of spiritual energy; aware, calm and loving… I feel the true freedom of experiencing my authentic identity and genuine… I don’t have to prove anything; simply be what I am in a natural way… A peaceful and living being…
From this state of being I prepare myself to enter into action. I listen again to the sounds of my surroundings, aware that I choose at each moment what it is that is going to influence me and how I am going to respond…
If we compare the two entities – mind and matter – the most obvious difference between the two that comes to the forefront is that one is non-physical and the other is physical. Another very important difference between the two is that whereas on one hand, matter has limits, in the sense, that’s its fixed in time and space. The mind, on the other hand, is beyond limits, in terms of physical parameters. It’s not fixed in time and space.
When we take a close look at what is going on in our mind, its power becomes visible to us. Since its not fixed in space, it can link me to a friend in, as far as, Washington or Singapore in less than a second. My mind can even move in many different directions at once. Since the mind is not fixed in time, I can think about yesterday, or about fifteen years ago; about tonight, or the next three years. That’s the reason we can say that the mind is limitless, hence powerful.
Thoughts also have different levels of power. Sometimes they fly past the mind leaving hardly any impact on us. At other times, they are accompanied by such feelings so as to influence our entire perception, even our complete inner mental state. Thinking about a visit to Kashmir I made last year, for e.g., I could find myself carried back mentally into the beautiful experience and its attached emotions. Filled with happiness, I will even radiate this happiness to others nearby, through my thoughts, facial expressions, words and actions. On the other hand, thoughts about the death of my close relative a few years ago will have an opposite impact on me in the present moment.
You create the future basing yourself on what you think, feel and do in the present. If you act according to your values, it is easy for you to trust in your destiny. That strengthens your hope that all will go well, and, if it doesn’t, you know and trust your inner resources or treasures to be able to deal with things and change. That trust feeds the enthusiasm, the motor energy that, along with motivation and passion, helps us to advance.
When you lose courage and you feel weak, when you feel insecure and do not see with clarity where to go towards, hope lights the way for you to carry on going forward. If you fall, get up again and carry on looking ahead. Don’t look back. Don’t let your past be a burden that is too heavy and prevents you from advancing. Focus your vision on your objective and on all your potential to achieve it.
Whatever happens, keep the lamp of hope lit. You can. You will achieve it. Change will become reality. You will free yourself from the shadows of fears, blockages and the other limitations that weaken you.
Live each situation as an opportunity. Learn from criticism and failures. On living life as a constant opportunity for personal growth and learning, you keep hope always alive.
Give yourself moments of silence on beginning each day, during the day and on finishing the day, to connect with your inner self. That way your awareness stays awake, the lamp of your hope, your motivation and your values remains lit.
There are two things in life that we can never change:
* the past and
* other people
This often brings us one frustration after the other, especially when we do not get the results that we want. Frustration is also a sign of failure, and every time that you fail in getting what you want from the other, your self-esteem and self-confidence are reduced.
Frustration is a form of anger. You allow the negative emotion to control you, and therefore you lose control. Most times situations will not be as you want them to be and neither will people behave as you want them to. Therefore, you can decide now if you want to continue allowing the other to dictate your reactions according to how they behave, which results in the loss of your rule, control and personal power, or you can decide that no matter how the other behaves, you rule over your responses; you decide what you want to think and feel.
When another tries to control you and then gets frustrated because you don’t do what he or she wants or you aren’t who he or she expects you to be, they get in a bad mood with you; they look at you with anger and what do you do? You then place an invisible barrier between you and him or her. In such a way that they cannot ‘enter’ into your world and you do not leave yours either, they lose their influence over you. In the same way, when you try to control people you lose your influence over them and distance is generated.
When we are internally strong, our nature characteristics and skills are reflected, from inside us to the outside, to everyone we interact in, in the form of virtues. If we are internally weak, those same traits emerge and radiate as vices. Vices are just qualities or virtues that have lost their focus and strength. For e.g. if we take the quality of love – when a strong soul radiates love, it is unlimited and without any conditions. Such a soul respects and has good wishes for everything and everyone and under all circumstances, irrespective of whether love and respect is coming from the other side or not. When a weak soul radiates love, he/she tends to restrict the love to limits e.g. the love would vary from person to person and from situation to situation. In a sense, if spiritual might (strength) and spiritual light (understanding or knowledge) are taken away from the virtues, they get transformed into the six vices, which make us spiritually unhealthy or weak:
Ego – developing an image of the self that is false, temporary or imaginary.
Greed – finding short term fulfillment by acquiring material goods, a role in society or money or through the physical senses – eyes, tongue, ears, etc.
Attachment – finding security by developing a feeling of possessiveness over loved ones and material objects.
Lust – using excessive satisfaction through the senses as a means of fulfillment. Anger – the feeling of hatred and revenge when any of the other vices are threatened or being taken away from us.
Laziness – becoming inactive on a spiritual, physical or mental level.
The Search For Happiness And A Perfect Relationship
Throughout history, human beings have desired and searched for two things, happiness and a perfect relationship. There is an old truth, “You cannot search for what, you have not already had or known.” In other words, our search is motivated by a deep subconscious memory of the original, perfect and eternal relationship with our Friend, Guide and Parent, the One remembered as God, Allah, Ishwar, Jehovah, etc. It is only when our relationship with this Being is restored that we can experience true happiness or bliss. Bliss is the deepest spiritual happiness we can experience. It is experienced only when we are free of all attachment, when we no longer misidentify with anything physical and when our inner mental state is not dependent on anything or anyone.
At its highest level, our relationship with God is pure and non-dependent, and therefore blissful. Deep within the soul, there is a memory of the bliss of this perfect union and it is the deepest motivation in our search for the perfect relationship, for the perfect happiness. However, instead of seeking at the level of spirit, we seek at the level of mind (personality) and body. We search in those around us for the perfect partner – our soul mate. It is not incorrect to have worldly relationships, but there needs to be a deep realization inside each one of us that our true soul mate, is the One with whom we can have an ever-lasting, eternal relationship, the One with whom we have the deepest eternal bond (over a period of many births), the One from whom we will experience everlasting, eternal, unconditional attainments.