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The 5 Sides of Intimacy.

5 sides of intimacy
5 sides of intimacy
Image Courtsey - Devian Arts

There’s something about our psychological, spiritual, and physical makeup that cries out for intimacy with another. That’s because God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships, in which we share life intellectually, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Check, Are you and your spouse intimate in these ways?

Intellectual intimacy. This isn’t about discussing highly intellectual ideas. The important thing is discussing your thoughts. They may be thoughts about food, finances, health, crime, work, politics. They reveal something of what’s gone on in your mind throughout the day.

Social intimacy. This has to do with spending time around the events of life. Some of these events we experience together; others happen while we’re apart and are shared through open communication. Much of life involves doing. When we do things together, we not only develop a sense of teamwork, we also enhance our sense of intimacy.

Emotional intimacy. Feelings are our spontaneous, emotional responses to what we encounter through the five senses. I see the fire truck racing down the road and I feel troubled. You touch my hand and I feel loved. When we share emotions, we build emotional intimacy.

Spiritual intimacy. Often the least excavated of all the foundations of marital intimacy, yet this has a significant impact on the others. It doesn’t require agreement of belief on every detail. Instead, we seek to tell each other what’s going on in our inner self. It’s discussing our thoughts about spiritual realities. The purpose isn’t agreement, but understanding.

Physical intimacy. Because men and women are different (long live their differences!), we often come at sexual intimacy in different ways. The husband’s emphasis is often on the physical aspects—the seeing, touching, and climax are the focus of his attention. The wife, though, comes to sexual intimacy with more interest in the relationship. To feel loved, appreciated, and treated tenderly brings her great joy. Sexual intimacy requires understanding and responding to these differences.

Practicing intimacy.

An essential ingredient of intimacy is allowing your spouse to be himself without striving to conform him to your ideals.

In intimacy, we try to grow closer together, not to eliminate the “otherness,” but to enjoy it. Men and women are different and we must not, even with good intentions, seek to destroy those differences.

Early or Late Marriage?

What would you Desire More – Early or Late Marriage?

Early or Late Marriage
Early or Late Marriage

Montaigne says in his Essays, that “a good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” In such humor is truth. She does not see his faults and he is spared her sharp tongue. Unfortunately for the state of marriage for many people, such knowledge comes too late. That is why late marriage is more desirable. Late can mean several things but here we ascribe to the view meaning maturity and not marriage at old age.

We are finding in contemporary society many young adults are living singly and not marrying or putting it off till later. This is at odds with history where people married at earlier ages. Down through the century, and especially the last two decades we see the age has started to increase.

What is the advantage of postponing marriage till a later age? Well, there are several. People who marry at a very young age are not mature. Socrates advises all men: “Know Thyself.” Those who marry early in their second decade have not formed an identity. They lack self knowledge. They do not know who they are—neither one does, so it is a problem to the second power. And it is very significant. Not knowing about yourself shows that you do not know where you are going or what you want in life. What are your goals, desires and aim in life? How can you get there? They yet have to answer the age old question of all mature adults: Who am I? Where am I going? How do I get there?

In America and perhaps elsewhere, when marriage is postpones to the third decade, divorce rates fall drastically when compared to those who marry in their 20’s. This applies to both male and female. The younger ones are in love and live in a dream world of whimsy and hope filled with daydreams. Reality has no place with them. Authenticity is totally lacking in the young. They have not determined their personal strengths and weaknesses yet. Experience of life, tincture of time, is needed to allow full maturation to adulthood.

In the middle ages, youngsters did not marry until they had a roof over their head and a way to provide for themselves and their children. Similar arguments should be made today too. One should have a way of earning a living to support a family and have a home before contemplating marriage. Thus, education and/or training become necessary in order to obtain a job.

Late marriage is desirable in the sense that we mean marriage between mature people living in reality and not a dream. Knowledge of self, goals aims and desires is what is needed for two people to marry. If you don’t know yourself, how can you possible know the one you plan to live with?

My Channel News

Murphy's Laws for Girls.

1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she’ll always have a boyfriend to confirm that

2. the nicer she is…the quicker u will be dumped!!!!! (more…)

Love Marriage & Arranged Marriage…..in IT terminology

Love Marriage

Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movie together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like. Similar to objec oriented programming approach.
We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted. It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible. Family system hangs because hardware (called parents) is not responding. Compatible with hardware(Parents). You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT.

Arranged Marriage

You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project (Married life).
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, etc. All these features are covered in the SRS as required features. Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy. Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!
* Love Marriage is like Windows, beautiful …
Yet one never knows when it will crash….

* Arranged Marriage is like Unix… boring n colorless…
still extremely reliable and robust.


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